Today has been a roughish day. But I just found something that amused me greatly.

An old Xanga post, dated November 6, 2007 features this great sentence.
"I need a new excuse, guys. "I'm still in high school" has ceased to give me social leprosy."

Now, this was a few years back, so I can't say with total certainty who it refers to, but it's either:

a.) Frat Boy 2

or

b.) Almost husband


Awesome

Why is it that I can have so many coherent thoughts in my head, but when I come to write them down, they vanish? It's most perplexing.

So I'll talk wedding instead.

I got several wedding planning books out of the library recently. One, I brought with me to work today. It's the Bridal Bargain Wedding Planner by Denise and Alan Fields. I was paging through all 300 pages of it, seeing pages and pages of stuff that I (the bride) need to accomplish.

Oye.

One, I am the bride. (Last thing I remember, I was 11 and getting my ears pierced, so, personally, I regard my bridal state as highly suspect.) How the heck did that happen?! Ok, I'm not a moron. I understand that I am the bride because an awesome man dropped to one knee and asked me to walk with him through life and I said yes. So, technically he asked me to be a wife. Now, the wife business, I'm all on board with. I even understand that I can't be a wife without being a bride, and I'm quite happy with being a bride - as far as it goes.

It's the bridey bride part I can't handle. Books such as the afore mentioned planner create in me a bizarre cocktail of emotions. So far, such ingredients as panic, apathy, dread, and disgust have been identified. I get panicky when I realize all the stuff that I'm expected to do. Case in point, checklists.

Now, two points about checklists.

• I happen to adore making lists of things I have to do. It focuses me and actually helps me get a lot done. Plus, crossing things off is unspeakably satisfying to me.
  
• Checklists in books oppress my very soul.
  

Checklists where you detail who your bridesmaids are, what they're wearing, where they live, everything short of a SSN, cause my eyes to glaze over. Checklists with questions to ask videographers, photographers, florists, bakers, and who knows what other kinds of folk I'm obliged to coordinate, dizzy me. Everywhere I turn, it seems, is a wedding checklist, purporting to be helpful.

To some people, I'm willing to assume this lists are, in fact, useful and assuage stress. However, they suck the life from me. See, I think my problem is that, when I see 8,610 checklists, I freeze up and don't know which way to attack the situation first. I am a problem solver at heart (my inheritance from my father, I suspect), but I solve things by keeping track of them in my head or by writing them out. I can't vomit my ideas onto a pre-written checklist and expect it to remind me of anything. It's carefully controlled insanity within my brain.

For example, there are many decisions that have already been made that I no longer need to worry about. I know what I have to think about and get nailed down soon. Guest list and invites. See? That's very simple and manageable. I don't need an oppressive lavender printed checklist to tell me this. After that, other stuff. I'll figure it out after the guest list is done.

Favors? Not going to make an appearance. If any of my gentle readers attend the blessed event, please do not be disappointed in the lack of individual bags of Jordan almonds, or a mini soap, or bubbles, or bells. Don't get me wrong, such things can be delightful touches - but I haven't the mental capacity to handle them. A quick cost-benefit analysis shows the rationality of this. Meaghan stressed and ready to scrap the whole thing and run down to the courthouse over mini bells? Or. Meaghan happy and looking forward to a less cookie-cutter day where people can clink their forks against their drinking glasses if they want to watch the newlyweds smooch? The bride's peace of mind or bags of Jordan almonds? Granted, I have a severe conflict of interest in making this assessment - but I think it's safe to say that favors won't be missed much.

I have a hard time explaining this to people. I am very excited for my wedding. I'm excited to have a big party and wear a gorgeous dress and marry the man I love. But. The thought that the wedding might be, "wedding-y" - to the point where it can't be distinguished from any other wedding, is the polar opposite of what I'd like. I'm not going to have 5 bridesmaids. My hair will not be in an updo. There will be neither programs nor favors. My wonderful groom may purchase his attire - it probably will not be a tux because he doesn't like them.

Don't get me wrong. Updos, a bridal party of ten, tux rentals, and programs are not really a huge issue. They're good, wedding-y things that work very well for most people. They just don't work for me.

And when I see checklists detailing how to execute a cookie cutter wedding that just ain't for me - oye.

My brothers did something really cool the other day.

I got my wedding dress back from the seamstress, and it was hanging from the bookcase in my room - a white robed white robe of an albatross.

Clearly it couldn't stay there for the next four months. I tried to think of free closet spaces, and was drawing a blank. I posed this question to my brothers, did they know of a spot where this behemoth could be kept safely?

The looks on their faces were awesome.

"Yeah!!! We totally have room in our closet! Off to the side! We don't hang anything over on that side! It should totally fit!!"

Once I got it next door, they flung their closet doors open to reveal the space. They shoved aside "stupid pants that Charlie is waiting to grow into" and pushed the paintball guns and sundry weaponry aside.

Zack expressed concern about the suitability of the space, "Ohhh, I'm not sure if it will fit. It's going to drag and touch the guns! It can't get dirty! Is it ok because it's in a bag?"

I decided to put my faith in the protective qualities of the garment bag, and lobbed the rest of the skirt over the pile of ammunition boxes to rest on the instruments used to hurl small objects quickly across long distances.

And Z and Charlie beamed like crazy to be able to help out and guard something of such importance.

......

It's perfect.

I love my brothers. They are the coolest.

Ya know. Just thinking that I *might* write a post has made me think of and notice so much more stuff. My thoughts are more coherent and better thought out (for thoughts). It's magical.


Moving right along.....

I have this very dear friend. Whenever we hang out, there is always a lot of talking. This can be a good thing, sometimes. Often, however, the talk is just a monologue. It's all about her. What she's done. What she said. Where she went. How this guy did such and such to her and how she is now totally ______________. Don't get me wrong, she's awesome and has been there for me in many ways. But she can be utterly exhausting to be around. Hearing so much about one person, from that person, is unbelievably boring.

So, I started looking at my own speech to make sure I don't do the same thing. Specifically, I try not to bring my wonderful fiance into every conversation I have, because I realize people get sick of hearing things like,

"Let's go to Giant Eagle."
"Ohh yeah, Giant Eagle. Nate and I went there yesterday!"

I've gotten a lot better at listening to people since I started trying to keep my mouth shut. That's been awesome. Then I started thinking about how often each day I use the word, "I." That is a Princess Diary reference, yes.

Ouch. This one is a little trickier, and you might not think so. But then think Facebook commenting. Wow.

Maybe you all are better at this than I am, but yikes! Say someone wrote something like,

"went sledding today and now I can't feel my toes!"

What would your response be? Mine, before I started noticing my bad habit, might have been something like, "My toes are cold too, and I didn't even go outside!"

Really, Meg? Does that, in any way, contribute to making the author of that status feel as if you cared about the fun time he/she had sledding? Does it convey any of the support and enjoyment that you actually feel, knowing that someone had an awesome time? Not really. A simple, "Sounds like a BLAST!!! Cold toes are worth it!" is much more effective. No, my response displays a ridiculous amount of self-centeredness. It's actually embarrassing. I started filtering my comments more closely, and I was amazed at how prevalent this was. Really, it was crazy. Thankfully, it's a relatively simple problem to fix.

Anyone else notice this in themselves?

Good Bye 2009!!!!

This is a happy day, my friends. 2009 is on its way out. I'm praying and believing that 2010 must be better. :D

Happy New Year everyone!

I've decided this amphora of mine needs some music. I was going to go with Billy Idol. (the fact that I'm not marrying him still causes me some pain - but not really, because he's kind of a giant skeeze) So I decided on this song..... T'was the one that was playing when Nate and I went to Smokey Bones after getting engaged because it was still open and J. Alexanders was not.




And also some Billy Idol. Because he's Billy Idol.



o_O

I'mma be over here, remembering him like this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DONbY9wd6vU

It amuses me that the real music videos can't be embedded because they're awesome, but the more recent ones of him singing can be. Hmmmmmm.

And the ever popular.....



And also, a song that I can not post, per say, but if you were interested in a very cool sounding band with questionable lyrics (that can actually be deciphered)I'd recommend Obsessed with You by The Orion Experience. Very catchy, and very stuck in my head. I apologize.

I'm done.

Peace out! (that may be the first time I've ever used that expression)